Nicholas Turner’s essay, titled “Our Decisions In Life,” was chosen as the runner-up in the recent Freshman Common Reading Essay contest. The text of his essay appears below; to read the winning essay, click here.
The decisions we make in life work together to serve a collective purpose in shaping us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In Falling Leaves, by Adeline Yen Mah, the autobiographical memoir of Adeline’s life serves as a picture perfect example of how a poor decision, made by cultural and social restrictions, can lead to a greater blessing in the end. As in Adeline’s life, I also see the work of poor decisions in my life; do to cultural or social barriers. In looking at Adeline’s life and mine, I hesitate to label any of the poor decisions we made as self-defeating.
Through reflecting on Adeline Yen Mah’s memoir, and in viewing my own experience through eighteen years of decision-making, I have come to the conclusion that labeling a decision as self-defeating is negative and non-beneficial. By no means am I criticizing the term; I just find that admitting self-defeat through any poor decision is not beneficial to the physical, emotional, or spiritual development of an individual.
Yes, in life it is inevitable that we will make unwise decisions; decisions that we will most likely regret. It is how we view and apply the consequences of those poor decisions that make the difference. I believe that everything happens for a reason. My personal belief is that God is at work in our lives, molding us into the individuals He wills for us to be. We are the clay and He is the Potter. Or rather we are the silver and He is the silversmith. Although we have free will, God is right beside us guiding us. Through the good and the bad decisions, God is leading us to be the children He wants us to be.
Adeline’s life is a story of horror and misfortune. Adeline was born into a traditional Chinese family fighting for economic and social wealth within a turbulent China. Adeline was the youngest daughter of a successful businessman, and stepdaughter of a domineering stepmother. Her father, attending to his increasing wealth, rarely had time for Adeline. Under the supervision of a selfish and superficial stepmother, Adeline rarely led the normal life of a young Chinese girl. Adeline was the last in line to receive the benefits of education, opportunity, but most importantly love. Adeline’s life decisions are a reflection of choices made with haste due to economic and social barriers.
In Adeline’s adulthood, the reader finds a string of poor decision-making based on the pressure of her father, or the restrictions set by her stepmother. In her life, Adeline is afraid to pursue her true dreams because she felt confined to the dreams and expectations of her oppressive parents. Adeline’s dreams and life aspirations were in conflict with the Chinese culture and family that she was raised in.
Adeline reaped many “self-defeating” consequences, through the numerous poor decisions she made throughout her early childhood. The decisions she made, especially the poor decisions, led Adeline closer to a better life. The trials she endured shaped and molded her as individual; the trials she endured led her towards her flourishing career, husband Bob, and life in Huntington Beach, California. I tend to view all the poor decisions made by Adeline as many different elements that have served a collective purpose to shape her life in the present. The unwise decisions of her past have served to mold her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
When looking at my poor and unwise decisions, I tend to apply the same principles to my life. I like to look at the events in our life as building blocks to the development of our character. In the Bible, a reference is made to God working as a silversmith, refining each of us as a silversmith refines silver.
There was a group of women doing a Bible study on the book of Malachi. In chapter three they came upon the verse, “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; (Malachi 3:3).” The women were puzzled by the passage, so one woman volunteered to find out the work of a silversmith and report back to the group.
The following week the woman made arrangements to visit a silversmith. During her visit, the silversmith held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained when refining silver, you must hold it in the middle of the flames, where it is the hottest in order to burn away any impurities. The woman then remembered the verse, and asked the silversmith if he had to sit with the piece of silver while it was in the flames. The man answered yes, he had to sit with and watch the piece of silver. Not only did he have to sit with it, but he had to keep his eye on it the entire time while the piece was in the fire. If the piece of silver was left a moment too long in the flames it will be destroyed. The woman sat and thought for awhile, and then she asked the silversmith how do you know when the silver is fully refined? The silversmith replied, “Oh, that’s easy-when I see my image in it.”
In order to mold us and bring us closer to Him, God allows us to endure the fires. But He is right beside us, watching us. And He will take us out only when He sees His image in us.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and I do believe that Adeline’s trials serve a collective purpose to the development of her physically, emotionally, but most importantly spiritually. I apply this same principle to my life. When I am in the fires, like Adeline was, I remember that my God is right beside me, watching me, and in the end He will see His image within me.