In his book, “Better Living Through Laughter: An Attitude to Live By,” Stephen Patterson '73 seeks to reintroduce adults to the lifestyle benefits of laughter. In this excerpt from the book, which is available at Barnes & Noble.com, Patterson teaches the reader how to change their attitude about a typical life stressor – a traffic jam – by introducing laughter into the situation.
One way of gaining a better understanding of the power of perception can be seen in how we deal with a simple traffic jam.
Imagine you are in a traffic jam; all you see is a sea of red lights in what appears to be the world’s largest parking lot. Now, consider how you react to such an event. Think about this scenario as you approach the sea of red lights: you apply the brakes and the traffic stops or proceeds slowly, and you begin processing the event. Your leisurely drive has the potential to turn into a stressful event as traffic moves at a snail’s pace. The only way to change lanes is to trade cars with guy next to you.
At first, you maybe a little inquisitive as to the cause of the delay; you feel concern hoping there has not been an accident. Early on while in the traffic jam, your thoughts are of others not of yourself, but as the time begins to slip away your mind becomes flooded with approaching deadlines and where you need to be. You start thinking less about the event and more about all the things you need to get done and where you should be. Your concern has been replaced by frustration and anger as you wonder what could possibly be causing such a delay. Your mood is shifting; you have crossed over from being concerned to being stressed out. The longer you are in the traffic jam, the more negative you become. As your mood shifts, your stress level escalates.
Your breathing has become shallower and you have developed tightness in your stomach. You are feeling tension in your arms and legs. You begin gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter with each passing minute. You have reached the point where the traffic jam has become a major source of stress. Not only are you experiencing physical stress, your mental state is not doing all that well, either. …
Now, let’s look at this same event and rather than stew on the negative, we try to change our perceptions with the use of a little humor. Again, remember, it’s not the event but our reaction to the event. The next time you are faced with slow or non-moving traffic, simply put your humor to work. When the highway turns into a parking lot, begin looking around seeking out things that could be considered humorous. You may find it in billboards or you may find it in a vanity tag on the rolling wreck beside you. Maybe a good laugh can be found in someone’s bumper sticker or someone’s hairdo; what’s important is to look for humor. Look for the incongruence that may be present in the situation. We are decreasing our stress and anxiety by finding laughter in the stressful world.
Another way of changing our perception of the traffic jam may be found in an adaptation of a children’s game many of us played as kids. We often counted cows in pastures as we made long uneventful trips with our parents. Making a game of counting cows helped us pass the time, but more than just counting cows, you had certain rules that applied. If you passed a cemetery you would have to bury your cows and start over, or if you passed a body of water on your side, then the cows would drown and you had to start over, maybe cross a train track and it offs to the slaughter house for the cows. Inevitably, an offshoot of this game was the desire to communicate with the cows and we would find ourselves doing our best “moos.”
So, the next time you are faced with a traffic jam remember this childhood game and think about “mooing.”
Make eye contact with your neighboring driver roll down the window and give them your best cow impersonation and “moo.” I’m betting you will laugh and hopefully the other driver will laugh as well. If not, they may well back off and give you the open road. Believe me – it is hard to focus on negative events when you are sharing a “moo.” The “mooing” enables us to change our attitude and helps reduce the attention we are paying to the stress and in this case the traffic jam. Rather than internalizing and wrestling with our emotions, a simple “moo” gives us some control over how we handle the traffic jam. The traffic jam remains but the difference is in your attitude and your approach. A ”moo” has helped change our perception and we have gained a greater sense of control of our attitude. Controlling our attitude proves beneficial for stress management and anger reduction. …
This simple exercise can be applied to many stressful situations (dealing with an angry phone call, put them on hold and “moo”). If you have an approaching stressful meeting, take time out to do a “moo” before joining the meeting. Getting a root canal, “moo” beforehand. It’s your attitude. Take control of it.